Red
My mother is right though she hasn’t said anything explicitly. She’s always right. This time she looks at me frightened and somehow urges me to run – in classic pedagogue fashion, she teaches by example.
We run to the dock and jump on the first speedboat available. I swear I have never done this before, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world – I’m sure it could even be enjoyable in another set of circumstances. Right now, it’s just part of the fear-induced adrenaline rush.
I can see the horizon, separating dark blue sea from gray sky. I can see the waves, I can feel them under this white boat. Everything expected, everything…except for this.
Walls. Black. Coming out of the sea, standing vertical and rectangular. I can only see the tips but I’m not a fool. I know all about icebergs. Most of their volume submerged, only their tip is visible. These walls are not going to fool me, I’m going to drive this boat right between them I’m going to bend the boat if I have to but we are going to get away.
Right, left, right and left again. I don’t know where my mother is but I can feel her presence. And we’re still running away.
A few walls more, a few walls more, the “open sea” cannot be a lie.
Right, left, right and left again. I don’t know where my mother is but I can feel her presence. Still, I have to see. To see is to believe – perhaps my name should be Thomas- so I turn back.
Just for a moment, I lose control. Just for a moment and then I hear a loud sound.
I know what’s happened before I turn to look. And they’re closing in.
“I don’t feel the pain if I don’t see it”, that’s what I’ve been saying all along. So, now what? I see the pain and even so I feel nothing.
The propeller is at the front. It’s made an 180 degrees turn and its blades are turning vertically towards me. I see them. But I don’t feel them. My arm is stuck. Right between my elbow and my hand, the blades, one by one, are cutting through the valley of flesh between the bones. Taking turns. My arm does not move, I do not move. I’m almost drawn in by the precision, time after time.
Rhythm. And blood. Now all I can feel is fear and all I can see is blood. Solid red color everywhere spraying my previous vision of grays and blues.Almost looks like tossing paint on the glass of a camera. Almost looks like it’s taking over the world.
Red. Blood.
I wake up in a red room and the night is still young…
Leave a Reply